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Here are the results of the Crap Games Competition 2002.
Before reading the results, you might want to refresh your memory by viewing all of the entries.
There were 21 entries this year, and they ran the gamut from mildly poor to just plain awful.
However, there can be only one glorious winner. Having eliminated anything that seemed too playable, I was left with 21 entries. These were then sorted by standard criteria such as colour clash, comedy value, and technical incompetence.
The three best and yet worst entries were:
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3. Sir Clive's Dragon Mission
by Anders Carlsson
Sir Clive's Dragon Mission is really quite accomplished for a BASIC program, with up to sixteen sprites chunking around. As a result, it's painfully slow.
The graphics look like somebody worked on them quite hard and then gave up in frustration - Sir Clive never looked more anorexic - and being rendered in magenta on green hardly helps their cause.
This has all of the elusive pathos of a game that doesn't want to be crap but can't help it.
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2. Earth Girls Make Tasty Snacks
by Juan Bolokov
It's cute, it's funny, and it captures perfectly the unwelcome feel of Cascade Cassette 50. Remember how your initial disgust turned into amused bafflement as game after game after game on that tape turned out to be weak, disposable pap?
If I'd paid something for this, I would certainly be laughing too hard to complain.
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1. Millionaire
by Chris Young
Chris Young is no stranger to crap, and has been crap himself for several years. Who could fail to forget his CGC 2000 winner, the seminal Erotic Pinball?
This year's winner, Millionaire, is riddled with so many amateurish bugs that I suspect a radical compression algorithm has been used. Unmusical, unforgiving, and basically random in every way, it will have you "phoning a friend" in tears before you even reach the £400 mark.
Congratulations!
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- Hungry for more crap games? You're in luck, because CGC 2003 has just begun!
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