Jo. D
Jo. P
And everyone I've forgotten

Grahams  Page
Who Wants To Live Forever....
Graham Does
BHM-X1
You've played the guitar now ride the bike.
Graham is a QL... A Queen Lover
(Thankyou Graham)

Red Rat's Page
(Alias Mad Martz 0he Radical KISS Fan)
So here we are. In the last issue we covered...
-Rotary nasal hair trimmers
-Clearing anal blockages with telephone recievers (YUK)
-Murdering people with boiled coliflour
-Cuddly bulldozers, landmines & chainsaws
-Why Penultimate Pay The Price sell so many CHEESEY games (?!)
-Man Hole cover syndrome
And the Unforgetable..
-'No No No Medium sweet'
More sobber drivel

Tony's Page
Err, Tony isn't here but if he was the coversation might be something like this...
-Hello Tony
Hi. I've just developed a new 3d shaded rotation system. It's really fast.
-How fast ?
140000 T-states a frame.
-And again in English
1 frame every 25th of a second.
-(eyes glaze) err, not bad.
hi Daren
Specstrad Abuser Interview
Yet another hit Potion game is about to be released so we asked the author, Dill Shnitsongroober, about his new game....
-Hello Dill. Whats the game about ?
Wow, erm, yeah, its got sprites , sound, scrolling, speech, five colours per square, and a free beer mat. Do you mind if I smoke ?
-Not at all but tell me Dill why is the game so late ?
Yeah. Wow, you see I had to get this, err, 'cos it's mine.
-What's yours ?

Abuser continued....
Treble Drambuey & Guiness, oh, sorry. The Spectrum is mine. We did try programing without it but we had some problems.
-So exactly what programing system have you got ?
We've developed a game writting program. I can't say a lot but it does have a FOR-NEXT loop, a RND & a devious POKE command.
-Why is the ggame 3 years late ?
Look there's a lot of numbers in that thing, if a few hundred are wrong it could ruin the playablity so it takes tttime
-Yeah I see. Pass me that rolley

DaRen's Page
Hi I'm Daren Steward (Note one R ). I unfortunately met Darren at Hatfield Poly which is why we're so all totally wacko, ok ya, yousee. (Speak for yourself - Darren)
From then on I helped him design and build screens for the Super-duper dug dig, dig dug game. Even though he calls me a PEST!
(Lies Lies-Darr)
Anyway if you name is Sam Fox & you -DELETED- ring Daren on Ramsey 841735
Bye Bye

Comp.
If you completed dte the hard way within 2 months of release write to me ,Darren, INCLUDING a route march of how to do the second to last screen in your letter and if your the first I will send you something cheap or sentimental to do with dte. I'm a poor student, I can't afford much. Sorry.

Darren 'Special Brew' Byford
66 Downsway
Southwick
Sussex
BN4 4WD

THE ELDER(berry)
By   KISS
It's damn good.
Time 12.40 (Night) 5.11.86
I hope you enjoyed dte.
There may be a sequel if next years grant runs out. In case you're wondering this was written on the backscreen & effectively takes up no memory.

Why is Orifice here ? Well I dont really know. I just did it for the same reason Mr.Brattel did specticle. That was on the B-side of my all time fav. 'Dark Star'. Talking of Simon I fear I may go the same celibatic way. HELP!!!

God I hate computers.

Ralph's Page
Hi from Ralph-alias 'pest' zapper and protector of all exp-ensive hardware in Darren's room even if it is a bit naff. By the way I couldn't do the screen I wrote![no.14](you can guess which on it is 'cos you can't do it). Some people call me a complete & utter bar stool but I put that down to the fact I eat bran-flakes more than the average person

Darren's Ego Trip
Girls, are you tired of the same old games ? Why not write your own ? Personal Z80 tutor available at reasonable hourly charges. Read these reviews...
He knows all the tricks of the trade. -Hannah.S
He taught me a thing or two -Joan.C
Better value than a camel. -Jeff.M
So write me (normal address), including a photo, large S.A.E. and a full medical history.
See ya soon. Love Darren

The Last Page
Next issue we will bring you...
-Martins phone number (0273) 594804 ish
-Tony Lills version of Life the Universe & everything written on a naked female torso.
-Why the 68000 looks neat in suspenders.
-The Pawn. Why Darren cant do it
-The reason why you cant type POKES into a Specstrad 128+2 in 48K mode (no keywords on keys)
-Hopefully a few more laughs than this issue.
-XR2i. How Ford got the plans for the 1986 Hillman Imp & what Bernard Manning had to do with it.
'Til then bye from everyone.
bye