webequ.in   Home

Filks

A filk (apparently a corruption of folk, as in folk song) is a modified version of a popular song that usually introduces a "nerdy" element such as science fiction or computer programming. (Actually, there are many definitions of filk; but this is the one that I mean.)

I wrote a few filks circa 2000, and you might also find something newer.

Gordon Brown

(Source: Golden Brown by The Stranglers; written in February 2009.)

Gordon Brown's not at his best,
Wonders why it's all going west.
Looks at his shares,
Quietly despairs.
FTSE is down; so's Gordon Brown.

Gordon Brown's buried in snow.
Trains are off, and buses won't go.
Freezing and lost...
"Bugger the cost!
Don't let me drown!" yells Gordon Brown.

Gordon Brown's feeling alone.
Jacqui Smith has bugged all the phones,
Those who complained
Swiftly detained.
Fleeing the town, poor Gordon Brown.

Chats Don't Work

(Source: Drugs Don't Work by The Verve; written some time 1999-2001?)

All this talk of real existence,
It's getting me down, my love.
Like a bad chunk of code, written with doubt,
This time I'm bombing out.
And I hope you're thinking of me,
As you open your front door.
Now the chats don't work, they just make you hurt,
But I know I'll see your nick again.
Now the chats don't work, they just make you hurt,
But I know I'll see your nick again.

Now I know I'm in the no-life crowd,
'Cause I'm speaking "laugh out loud";
And if your comp should fail then just send me mail
And we'll find a new room again.
Now the chats don't work, they just make you hurt,
But I know I'll see your nick again.

'Cause baby, ooh, if Opti falls, I'm on Yahoo.
Just like I said,
You hit ignore, I'm better off dead.

All this talk of real existence,
It's getting me down, my love.
Like an unstable system, with one last cough,
This time I'm logging off.
Now the chats don't work, they just make you hurt,
But I know I'll see your nick again.

'Cause baby, ooh, if Teenchat's down, try ICQ.
Just like I said,
You leave the Net, I'm better off dead.

But if u wanna chat then just tell me that
And I'll type on your screen again.
Now the chats don't work, they just make you hurt,
But I know I'll see your nick again.

Yeah I know I'll see your nick again.
Yeah I know I'll see your nick again.
Yeah I know I'll see your nick again.
Woah.
Yeah I know I'll see your nick again.
Woah.

Never loggin' out now, never loggin' out
No more no more no more no more no more.

Geek

(Source: Freak by Strangelove; written some time 1999-2001?)

I live a life online.
I have no sense of time.
Inside a lab all day.
I've always been this way:
I'm a geek.
I'm a geek.
Oh ho I'm a geek.
Good Lord I'm a geek.

And I'm a metal-head:
My only T-shirt's black and red,
But chatting gets me high;
I can't log off and you know that I
Am a geek.
I'm a geek.
Oh ho I'm a geek.
Good Lord I'm a geek.

I surf the Goth-girl sites.
Maybe they'll mail me, one of these nights.
Debugging is my thing.
I hear the cool guys sniggering
"He's a geek."

I live a life online.
I tell my friends I'm fine.
I pop another pill.
I've never met them and I never will.
I'm a geek.
I'm a geek.
Oh ho I'm a geek.
Oh Lord I'm a geek.

I surf the Goth-girl sites.
Maybe they'll mail me, one of these nights.
Debugging is my thing.
I hear the cool guys sniggering
"He's a geek."